Monday 10 August 2009

do you ever....

The other day I stay at my uni computer lab to do my work from morning 9am till evening around 5pm something. I wanted to render my work and other stuff that's why I need a faster and more powerful computer. My own desktop pc is just too slow to do those stuff. Okay..rubbish talk stop here.. lets enter to the main topic.

During lunch time, I had KFC somewhere near my uni and opposite is a train station. I sit on the front of the shop facing the big glass on the same row with a lot other students. I saw a guy had a burger. Yes, just the burger. Once he finish with it he sit there so still without moving any single part of his body for about few minutes.. I was wondering if that is the way he digesting his food.

Suddenly he start moving his hand and pull out some coins from his pocket and start counting. Then he freeze again. After few minutes he then stood up and get his wallet out of his pocket again. When he open up his wallet, I see no money inside. Obviosly he is counting if he shud get something more to eat. I think he is still hungry but he don't have enuf money for another burger.

It remind me the time when I'm at Sydney. That time, I only have 1k every month to spent. After paying my rent and some other bills, every month I only had around $300 to spent. If a meal cost me for $10. Then every month I only can eat 30 meals. So if a month with 30 days, I want to have 3 meals, I only can spent $3.33 per meal. That is how I survive for about 2 years. I remember I always skip my breakfast that time and only had lunch and dinner. Sometime I skip my lunch as well if I don't have class. When I really can't survive with that amount of money I only ask for more.

I had gone through a lot of tough life during the time I'm at Sydney. I know everyday I'm living in pain and I just wanna quit and back to Miri. After I come to Melbourne to study, my life get better and I'm also studying something that I'm intrested in. I'm just not that kind of person for books. I enjoy so much on my study since I came Melbourne until 2 years ago when I graduate from college and get into uni, I mentally breakdown again. This time is a family problem. No one ever know what kind of pain I'm going through. That time I really want to just run off and leave all my current life behind and go to somewhere where nobody know me and start a new life. I'm stupid I know..

Theres a lot up and down in my life. Up until now there are few things that I am truely regret of. I don't wanna name it here but truely in my heart I wish I could go back to the past and undo those mistake. If its just as simple as doing "CTRL + Z". Whatever it is.. I'm still going to live on. People do learn from mistake and from the mistake I learn from the past, I told myself not to repeat the same mistake ever again.

It is 6.12am Monday morning...another sleepless night.

1 comments:

Anonymous said...

人在做,天在看。

i've said it before, and i'd still say it again.. wherever you are, i'd still be able to find you.

after 8yrs, i decided to look for you. you should be the person i'm looking for.

i believe in retribution, and karma. and i know you had yours. in whatever form that came. watever you started, will end. i can't, and won't feel sorry for what you've been through.

i hope you live a good honest life. and that things will be better.

meanwhile, i'm still watching. and i'd know where to find you. if i ever want to find you, again.

705


Jeffery Ting © 2009